Tuesday, August 12, 2008

They Said That There Would Be A Meteor Shower Last Night, So We Went To The Beach...

So here's how it is (was):
It's sometime in the early hours of the morning and I am half crouching, half floating in the ocean. It is so beautifully dark that I can't quite tell where the ocean ends and the sky begins until the lightning in the distance illuminates everything for me. The lightning is behind a huge cloudbank and when it flashes the light diffuses through the clouds and shines out in rays across the sky. The play of light and dark draws me in, almost to the exclusion of everything else. I can feel the water lapping around me and I allow it to sway me where it will. The sound that it makes as it moves against the beach is overpowering, but fades too quickly from my mind. Eventually I am able to pin down the sound and concentrate on it. At this point it seems that all of these sensations merge and become one. My mind bends and suddenly I am tripping.*
Looking down into the water I see that some tiny green creatures have come to join me, and I make them dance by moving my hands through the water. They follow my fingers, making beautiful patterns on the dark waves. I call Laura over so she can see them, but they seem to be invisible to everyone else. Eventually they dissapear, only to resurface in the sky. Throwing my head back to wach them I realize that I have become the ocean. I ebb and flow around the curve of the world, trying to reach the sky. The sky, at this moment, seems like the most inviting blanket one could hope for, and I take a moment to thank it for its continued presence above me.
Slowly I begin to condense into the form of a crab. The ocean suddenly seems very large around me, and I scuttle sideways towards the shore, where it is less open. Ahead of me is a tall, well light building. Next to the building is nothing but blackness. That is when I begin to understand that I have found the edge of the world. Looking to the right I see that everything becomes progressivly darker. I know that behind me is a void, and as much as I want to look at it I am terrified to see what that expanse of blank space really looks like. The thought of so much emptiness there makes me tremble, and I scuttle faster to the beach.

I am saved from the nothing-ness by someone's desire to leave. Every step I take off the beach is a struggle between me and it. "I'm sorry," I say over and over as I drag myself over its surface. The beach finally releases me and we get in the car.
Speeding down the highway I stick my head out of the window and find that I can feel the universe vibrating. "This," I whisper, "is what the creation of the universe sounded like." I begin to vibrate along with it. I am simultaniously sitting in Andrew's car and standing in front of the universe. It continues to pulse and throws itself at me. I stand there and breathe it in, mixing its particles with mine, helping it to create the world. The whipping winds become more violent. I begin to speak to the energy of the universe, explaining that it cannot harm me just as I cannot harm it, because we are of each other. I continue on this tangent until we have finished creating the world and the winds have died down. I open my eyes and watch the new world fly by. Even with all of its imperfections it seems utterly perfect.

*I did not, for the record, take any sort of hallucinogen last night. This was totally random.

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